Exodus 22:21

I am learning what it means to be a foreigner.

Today at school we had some substitute teachers. We started chatting during recess; they asked me if I liked Spain, Jerez, the school, and so forth. I said yes I did like Jerez, I like the people here, the weather is nice, my students are pretty well behaved, even if there are 300 of them. And it's true. I do like Jerez, I speak enough Spanish that it doesn't cause me problems and I enjoy being in the classroom.

It gets tricky outside of that. It's really hard to be in a country where you can't even say what you studied in college because college = elementary school and college (US) = university. Apart from that, our entire educational system is extremely different.

People offer to take me to the movies, the beach or to go to a bar, but what I really want to know is where is a good bookstore? How do the homeless people eat? How do I open a bank account? Can you go with me to the Immigration Office? What documentation do I need to get my paycheck? Where do they sell phone cards? Can you let me try to tell you a story that will be filled with awkward pauses as I conjugate? How do you write an exam for fifth graders and how do you write an exam for 10th graders? They tell me "I'm new at this. I don't know what you need or how to fill out that form." Guess what? I'm also new at this and I don't know how either. But you at least can communicate without feeling censored by a lack of words.

The problem is that there are a lot of expectations that are so... normal for my friends and colleagues that I don't know them. For example, today the woman who cleans at the school said "Gracias Ellen!" And I said "Why? What did I do?" She replied that for the first time I had left the classroom in order with the chairs on the tables and she could clean better.

I felt awful. I had no idea that I was supposed to tell the students in my last class to put the chairs up. And one time, I was putting the chairs up and another teacher walked by and said "NO! You can't put the chairs up - the students have to do it!" What? Why can't I? I don't know how to tell them "Put your chairs on the desk"

That's another thing. I think I'm getting worse at Spanish. Why? How? No idea. But I keep confusing masculine and feminine and then I get flustered.

Another awkward moment occurred when two students needed a projector for a presentation they were giving. I got in trouble because I hadn't signed up a week in advance. Oops.

And I'm really tired of all the American jokes. And of being teased because I always turn the Friday sports newspaper over so that the porn is facing down. When all these things combine (American jokes + porn + some weird expectation + stressful class + Immigration + bank account), I end up very frustrated and near tears.

I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I'm here. I've just dealt with a lot of stressful things and feel lonely not in the "alone in my room" way, but in the "can't anyone understand why this is hard?" way. I have even more sympathy for people who are immigrating to the US. I can't imagine dealing with all of this on top of having half the nation hostile towards me. It would take a far stronger person than I to cope with that. And I totally get why people from other countries tend to flock together - social support. I could use some of that right now.

PS: I'm not really one for throwing out Biblical verses as a response to things (Eg. "Romans 12:12!" or something) but the title seemed appropriate:

"Do not mistreat or oppress a foreigner, for you were foreigners in Egypt."

Dually noted for when I go home.