So many things on my mind...

Jerez is becoming home. I love living here. I feel like I am starting to become rooted, to have my rhythms, to understand the people and the city.

I am so thankful that I am here, that I waited out the initial difficulty.

I feel like I am becoming more myself here, more aware of God, more aware of the ways God shows up in small things like a beggar named Isabel in Sevilla or a Bulgarian family in Jerez.

I'm increasingly confused and disillusioned by the version of Christianity that is present in Andalusia. Over the course of many centuries, it seems to have warped into something almost unrecognizable from the Jesus in the Bible. Those closest to the heart of God sit outside the church and look shamefully at their plastic cups containing a few cents worth of Euros as people wrapped in the latest fashion trends walk by and try not to see them. It breaks my heart for the ones who hold the cup and for the ones who pass them and try to quickly engage in small talk with whoever is next to them.

One thing I have tried to do is to see these people. Our natural reaction seems to be to look away, but I have tried to look at them. Sometimes they ask me for money and sometimes they don't. Sometimes I give them food or a few cents, sometimes I don't. However, becoming aware of them is transformative, as are the times when I can offer them some food.

Faby is maybe one of the most Christlike people I have ever met and she has left the church. We had a beautiful discussion about it on our drive to Sevilla this weekend. We talked about the processions during Semana Santa, about the adoration of the Virgin Mary, about how church is really a community, about what happens when that community fails. She has taken me into her house, her life, and her family and I treasure it a lot.

I'm growing here.